The Cat Who Found Me

There are times in life when everything changes so quickly that we hardly recognize ourselves.

My husband and I had divorced after seventeen years together.

I was reeling.

I was sad.

I was angry.

I was scared.

Most of all, I was trying to figure out who I was going to be.

When he moved out, the dogs went with him.

I still had my farm animals, but for the first time in years, the house was quiet.

The kind of quiet that isn't peaceful.

The kind that reminds you someone is missing.

I knew I wasn't ready for another dog.

My heart needed time.

So I poured myself into the farm.

One afternoon, I was working in the garden. When I climbed back onto my tractor, I found a cat sitting on the seat.

I laughed.

"Whose cat are you?"

The moment I spoke, she disappeared.

The next day...

There she was again.

Sitting on the tractor seat.

Waiting.

Again I asked,

"Where's your family?"

She offered no answers.

She simply kept showing up.

Day after day.

Eventually I thought,

"Well...I guess I should feed you."

She never let me touch her.

She'd eat.

Watch me from a safe distance.

Then disappear again.

Weeks passed.

She seemed to get rounder every day.

At first, I congratulated myself on feeding her so well.

Then one morning I stopped and looked a little closer.

"Oh my goodness..."

"You're pregnant."

I had never cared for a pregnant cat before.

She became enormous.

I worried constantly.

Where would she have her kittens?

Would I ever find them?

Would they survive?

Then one morning she didn't come for breakfast.

My heart sank.

I knew.

I walked around the property looking for her with no idea where to begin.

Later that morning, I stepped barefoot into the sword ferns to refill the hummingbird feeders.

Suddenly I heard the deepest, fiercest growl.

For one very brief moment I thought,

"Well...this is how I lose a toe."

Instead...

I found Momma.

Curled protectively around seven tiny kittens.

She had chosen a place where she felt safe enough to bring new life into the world.

I distracted her with food while I carefully gathered the kittens into a small box with a heating pad.

Then I looked at her.

"I promise I'm taking you to your babies."

"Please don't shred me."

To my surprise...

She let me pick her up.

Over the next eight weeks, the two of us raised seven kittens together.

One by one, they found wonderful homes.

And somewhere along the way...

Momma found hers.

Mine.

Today she sleeps beside me every night.

She curls up next to me during our evening snuggle time as though she's always belonged here.

What Momma Taught Me

Sometimes people assume I rescued Momma.

But I don't think that's the whole story.

Looking back now, I think two females who were both trying to find their way somehow found each other instead.

She was looking for a safe place to raise her family.

I was looking for a safe place to heal.

Neither of us knew we were answering the other's prayer.

I thought I wasn't ready to love another animal.

And maybe I wasn't.

Momma didn't ask me to be ready.

She didn't arrive with some grand announcement about healing my heart.

She sat on my tractor.

Then she came back the next day.

And the next.

Eventually, she convinced me to feed her.

Then she presented me with seven kittens.

Subtlety may not be Momma's spiritual gift.

But perhaps that's exactly what I needed.

Momma taught me that healing doesn't always look like healing while it's happening.

Sometimes it looks like putting food out for a stray cat.

Sometimes it looks like standing barefoot in sword ferns negotiating with a very angry new mother while trying to keep all ten toes.

Sometimes it looks like seven kittens you absolutely did not plan for.

And sometimes it looks like a cat sleeping beside you years later, when there was once an empty place.

I had thought my heart needed time before I could love another animal.

Maybe what my heart actually needed was somewhere for all that love to go.

Momma gave me that.

And I gave her something she needed too.

Safety.

A home.

Someone she could eventually trust.

That's what I find so beautiful about our relationships with animals.

We talk so often about what we give them.

Food.

Shelter.

Veterinary care.

Safety.

Love.

But animals aren't passive recipients of our generosity.

They bring something to the relationship too.

Sometimes something we didn't even know we needed.

Perhaps some of the most important relationships in our lives don't begin because we go searching for them.

Perhaps they begin because two beings need something the other has to give.

And somehow...

they find each other.

You May Be Wondering...

How do I know when an animal has come into my life for a reason?

I don't think we always know in the moment.

I certainly didn't look at that strange cat sitting on my tractor and think, Ah yes, here comes an important spiritual relationship.

I wondered whose cat she was.

Sometimes the meaning becomes clear only when we look backward and realize how profoundly a relationship changed us.

That's why I try not to force an explanation onto every encounter.

I would rather stay curious.

What is this relationship asking of me?

What am I giving?

What am I receiving?

Who am I becoming because this animal is part of my life?

Sometimes there may never be a tidy answer.

And sometimes, years later, you wake up with a once-feral cat sleeping peacefully beside you and realize...

maybe you found each other for a reason after all.

May you see the world through the eyes of love, remembering that we are all part of one living, sacred whole.